A Yucky Day in Paradise

Everybody in the world is born with certain natural skills. These skills are often considered god given, and we all have at least one or two. Sometimes we struggle to discover our own gifts and often find it easier to list the gifts with which we were not blessed. Over the years I have ascertained what I’m good at and athletics is not on my list. Despite this shortcoming, upon arrival in Alice Springs I agreed to play on a softball team.

The softball league in Alice is not highly competitive and I’m not the only player that lacks athletic skills. Last night’s game was one of the most unpleasant so far. It had nothing to do with the fact we were beat by over 20 runs. At 7 p.m. it was still 93 degrees, 25 % humidity and 20 mph winds and flies have reached the unbearable stage. As the catcher I had my back to the wind. That may be a good thing in the sappy Irish blessing, but it’s a bloody awful concept at the height of fly season in Australia. Aussie flies are sneaky and lazy; they like to take shelter from the wind and crawl around (inside ears and nose and behind glasses are the most popular places for these little buggers to hang out). My team mates in the field had flies settling on their backs, my share of the fly population had settled on my front. Having coated my arms and legs with 80% Deet repellant, the flies decided to hangout on my face. (Have I mentioned how much I dislike bugs?) Since high levels of Deet can melt plastic, I opted to not apply it to my face. I sprayed my head with regular strength Off with dismal results. It didn’t seem to faze the flies and left me with a disgusting chemical flavor on my chap stick coated lips. By the third inning I was desperately smearing the high potency Deet into the crevices of my ball glove. This way I was swatting at the flies with a poison laced hunk of leather. I’m not sure if it actually deterred any flies but it made me feel proactive while being driven insane by a swarm of flies.

Unfortunately for me we had a rally in the 5th inning which mitigated the 10 run rule, so we “got” to play all seven innings. Since we’re in Australia, we are allowed to have adult beverages at the ball park (on and off the field). Our team usually sits around after the game has a couple of beverages and chats. It’s generally a pleasant way to finish up the evening. Last night was an exception; after thanking the other team for a thorough thrashing, I dashed to my car and headed home to wash away the myriad of insecticides covering my body along with the thick layer of dust and grime that was stuck to the repellent.

A long cool shower allowed me to feel human again and by the second glass of wine, I was no longer having the sensation of flies crawling on my face and I eventually stopped twitching. Fortunately for me, the next three games conflict with the Photoshop class I’m taking. Please keep your fingers crossed that the fly population starts to die off before I have to play again.