How to Call a Dog

My son has added the perfect pet to our household, an imaginary dog.  It doesn’t shed or poop, it’s VERY quiet and it has imaginary bowls for its imaginary food and water. Despite the fact that I’m routinely accused of sitting on the invisible dog, I don’t have any complaints about our new pet. When it first “appeared” I asked the Russian what he was going to call it and he announced “9, 10, 11, 12, 18, 19”.

I have pointed out, on any number of occasions, that a shorter name would make the easier to call the dog, and each time the kid just gave me one of those looks.  The entire situation finally came into focus one evening last week when we went to the park one evening after dinner.

Tying the leash to the bike.

A good time was had by all as we ran amok, and burned off some excess energy.  The dogs leash was tied to the handle bars of the bicycle as we set off for the adventure and upon arrive on the other side of the street; the dog was untied and allowed to run free in the park.

As we were herding the kid back into the house with discussions of bath and bed time, he announced that we’d left the dog at the park and we needed to go back to retrieve it.  In an attempt to outsmart the four year old, I assured him that if he calls the dog, it would come running home.  One of those long silent pauses, where you can almost see the gears spinning ensued and then he reached into his pocket and pulled out his imaginary mobile phone, flipped it open, punched some numbers and said “Dog, you come home now!.”  He then snapped the phone closed and turned back to me and said “He’s coming in a minute.”

All I could do was bite my lip and blink my eyes in an effort to not fall to the ground in laughter.  It wasn’t until later when reflecting on my day that I realized he had no idea what “Calling” the dog meant in the traditional sense.  The only calling he knows how to do was on a phone, which explains why I asked what we were going to call the dog, I got a phone number!